29 November 2016

Darsie: A Crap Story

Before you read this and bang your head on how stupid this story is, I want to say, that this is something I'd like to call a crap story. Yes, this story is bad and illogical. This is because I wrote it like this on purpose. With that in mind, here's my first (and probably last) crap story.

Once upon a time, in the year 2015, there lived a princess named Darsie in Idiot Land. She really liked to eat cake. She ate cake every single day. Then one day, she ran out of cake. So she decided to enter a contest. The contestants had to pick fruits from trees that grew on stone walls. The first prize was a magic seed. If you planted or ate this seed nothing will happen at all. The 2nd price was a slice of 3-month old pizza. It magically causes food poisoning when someone eats it. The 3rd prize was a body soap. This magic soap was made with a lot of magic alkaline chemicals. It hurts you when you touch it like magic!

Princess  Darsie, took part in the contest because she wanted to eat cake. She picked a lot of fruits. The fruits she picked weighed OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!!!! milligrams. She put them in a barrel and rolled down Mt.Everest. She lost the contest because the barrel somehow traveled the world and hit the judge on the head and killed him.

Darsie was sad. She couldn't eat cake. Suddenly her wish-granting fairy goat came and gave her some cake. She happily eat the cake. But, alas! The cake was sugar-free. She became so angry at the cake that she became a Super Stupid-5! She then left on a heroic journey to save the universe from the Sun, the Moon, the stars and the ultimate evil.

In her journey she defeated all her foes. At last she faced the ultimate evil, her text books! After a long and hard fight with her text books, she finally triumphed. When she returned home she realized that she was allergic to everything in existence. She then blew her nose and died.

Well, that was my first crap story. I hope you enjoyed it.
Thanks for tolerating!

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